I dunno wat's wrong with me. I just can't be fucked. I can't... do anything. It's that feeling you get when you feel down but you dunno why. The world just seems a little blander, boring, with little colour.

Maybe it's because I haven't even begun my essay and have been spending too much time doing... nothing.

Maybe it's because I haven't had my nightly visit to Manda's place and dearly miss my neighbours.

Maybe it's because I didn't feel like cyber-cafing but did anyways and did not have fun.

Maybe God doesn't like me.

Maybe... other stuff.

I dunno. And I can't be fucked.

Because it was all me, and only me

Monster is a movie about a prostitute Ailene who, through the hardships of life, has become a woman with nothing to live for anymore. Until she meets Shelby, a shy young lesbian whose family wants her to go straight.
They meet... and fall in love. To support Shelby, Aileen works hard into the night to get money. While in a man's car, the man rapes her and abuses her. She managed to untie her bonds (yes, there were bonds) and took out a gun she had in her purse. And kills the man. Taking the car and money, she supports Shelby for a little while.
Then she kills... and kills... and kills again.

Charlize Theron plays Ailene. To be sure, Charlize is gorgeous. Ailene is not. 6 hours of makeup made sure that they were both hideous. But the ugliness is not only on the outside, cosmetic, facial aspects, it is the portrayal of a soul being ripped apart everytime the gun goes off, the ugliness that is inside her, the fanaticism that borders on the line of hope, frustration. Charlize shines. Bravo.

The movie brings forth the story well, with the actual movie supported by narration from Charlize's character. It is high-tensioned, you can tell that everytime Ailene comes in contact with people. She has a short-temper and pride. Pride in her job, pride in herself. Moreover, she has a will to survive. For her and for Shelby. It is a story of how a woman's love destroys her and finally redeems her. It is touching, if one can get over all the bangs and screamings and blood and screamings. It really is a wonderful movie. Go catch it. I mean, lesbian scenes! Come on!

My God...

Man... I dunno how to say this. Wow.

My dad juz called me juz now and told me to go back to singapore straight away. He wants me to pull out of uni cause of some trouble with fee payment. Something about the business failing and insurance not paying up.
WTF???????

I cant think right now...




















































happy april fools

It's like 240 am and I should be off to bed. But im not. Im accompanying my neighbours in their last bid to finish a report by tmw morning. U noe the drill. The usual hustle and bustle, screaming and rapid clacking of nails on keyboards. The usual. And i am right there with them. Attempting to read my feminism books, repeating to meself "Women are nothing but trouble" over and over and over again. But men love trouble so there. I doubt I'll get any sleep tonight.

Am watching a movie with the girls tmw night. Which brings me this point. Someone once asked me how my love life was going and I replied as witty as I could. Non-existant. With a smiley face. :)
And when I said it, I meant it, and I was happy. Im actually quite satisfied with my love life now. Who cares if nobody wants to hold my hand on a moonlit night. Or let me protect as a knight does his fair one. Or love and be loved in return, the true love way. I'm satisfied. I have such great frens, guy and girl. And a great life which I'm attempting to make better. I mean, I like it like that. It wouldn't hurt if some buxom model came up to me and asked if she could hold my hand and rub my face and tell me that she had fallen in love with me, wit, charm and roguishly good looks. But, as before, I'm happy. Are you? If not, get a Mastercard, it's handy.

Or read some Terry Pratchett.

Across the night rox. It so rox.

btw, jo, a bit late but happy bday dude. ur old and smelly, but hey, u've got love, money and life. And me. Nothing else matters except me. Cause I bring joy to everybody!

happy bday to you
happy .... aiyar... fingers hurt. bye bye.

I'm fucked. Not fucked as in fucked by someone as in attacked and raped by horny females, a dream that would never be realised due to my non-existant stamina and the tendency to lash out and kick pple, no matter how horny they are. And the chastity belt. But yes. I'm fucked. Not fuck care as in I do not care particular about something so much so that if it jumped off the Effiel tower, I would go "Fuck that" and get jiggy with it. But yes, I'm fucked.

Why?

I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DO THE ESSAY I HAVE IN FRONT OF ME. I dun even noe what to choose. Now that's... fucked.

Something to make me feel better:

"Most of all, he liked her, the maiden named first for a salad. Not only lust and love, then. For liking surely was the most dangerous. Lust might burn out and love grow accustomed. But to like her was to find in her always the best -of herself, himself and all the world."

- Rapunzel (Tanith Lee)

I just got up. It's like 1pm now. Oh man, sleep felt good. I hadn't slept the whole night save 2 hours give or take. All nabz fault. Always there to spoil sleeping plans. I mean, sleep man!!!! Buuuut, it was worth it... i mean, I got to see funny stuff and had a great chat that night.

And the bbq. Beautiful food. Juz great. Sumptious. Perfect. And filling. That's good you know. Nabz, if u see nan and huizhan, give them my compliments. I dun think I managed too. And you see, everything worked out alright, even though the pit didn't work. Or leonard spilt the bowl of sauce after ramming the elevator doors. Or we had no candles. Birthdays have a way of working out.

And there's next year :) Another birthday, another year, another wealth of experiences untold. Perfect. Makes me feel like writing a poem, but no. I shall not succumb to temptation and give you pple something bad.

Watched Man U vs Arsenal yesterdae. Good match. Henry scored first but Man U drew with Saha's goal in the last 5 minutes. Then things went crazy from there. Good match though. Finished at 3am. Then chatted with Angie and Grace for another hour, with foot powder and erm... crappy cameras. So I went ito slumber at 4am. And here I am now. Gonna skip lectures. Watch me pple. I am baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

The girl of everything

The girl of everything knew everything
She knew about the trees and birds and bees
She knew about how Lady Fortune was Lady Luck's cousin
She knew about the cosmos and their star signs
She knew about culture and philosophy
Math was at her fingertips, science was a laugh
Singing wasn't her strong point, but she could still carry a tune
She knew of authors from distant lands, stories from the end of the world
to the beginning of clouds
She was a class of her own, sophistication all around her
She was loved, popularity never far behind
The girl of everything had everything
The girl of everything knew everything
Until her birthday came and she turned one

happy birthday nabs, u go girl u, it's been less than a year and have realised u've taken a small corner of her heart u thief!!!! I want bbq!!! Cook for me!!!! :)

happy bday to you
happy bday to you
happy bday to NABBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
happy bday to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Johan will get his own poem on tues. Thanks for dinner though. And eating Derek. He was a pain in the ass. I dun like him.