I have come to a number of realisations; of which I will disclose on this very website... whether you like it or not so there.

Firstly, it is normal to be jealous of others' successes. It's a good thing. It DRIVES us to perform better. And push ourselves more.

Sounds like bullshit... but I suppose it has that speckle of truth littered in it.

Secondly, I cannot blow the trumpet. Try as I might, til the face turns red, I cannot emit the round, blaring sound of a trumpet. All I could manage... was filling this dignified instrument with spittle and saliva. A good outcome from this embarressing display of hot air? Well, I won't be giving blowjobs anytime soon.

Thirdly, Frens rock. Friends came by my place yesterdae. Yes. Finally, my friends made a pilgrimage to my house... in Burwood. I'm so touched. Really.. I am. We had a hell of a time doing... nuttin and watching shows and doing nuttin and staying up til 7am. Very fun. Very very fun. Never knew lack of sleep was so tiring.

Fourth...ly? My hair was insanely long. Well.. not mullet long... or Rapunzel long... just... irritaintgly long and wrong and all that. So I cut it. Now i'm beautiful as a cow with a crew cut is beautiful.

Fifth...ly... this is beginning to sound weird. I mean... fifthly? Almost looks like filthy.

Sixth thought... there we go. Sounds better. Darth Vader has a blog. Well bloody time for it. He's only a giant monster of a Lightsabre-wielding Dark Lord.

Finally, you have to WATCH THIS. And sing along. You must. Cause I say so. Have I ever steered you wrong?

And if you're an employer... I want a job pls. I have wives and kids and sisters too. Thanks yar.