Happy CNY pple. All that food, all that red stuff, all that money, all that noise. Ahhh... I like CNY. Best time in the year, after Christmas. U cannot begin to imagine the noise that comes with eating, having tea/coffee, gambling, changing clothes, getting ready for... anything! It's a riot i tell you. Especially when the uncles and aunties have 10 decibel voices. Fun.

I lost money gambling. Ah well, sins are good. Teaches us that we are not infalliable.

But CNY is sinful. And good.
Here's something I was penning down some nights ago.



January 23

It is the dead of the night, 1pm I suppose, cant be bothered to check, and the household in Ipoh is quiet. Exhausted by the holiday hustle and bustle, most people were deservedly asleep. By nature's law, they should be asleep.
I'm not. No, I'm lying on the bed, wielding a bad-tempered pen, writing down the reason behind this recent bout of insomnia.
If you guessed deep musings regarding the meaning of the universe and Monty Python jokes (It's only wafer thin~~), you're wrong. Zip, nada, thank you for playing wrong. However, if you carelessly spouted out love, well ring a ding ding, we have a winner here, nothing for you too. But you're right. Yes, it's another sad, fruitless (APPLES!!!!) pondering about this stupid thing called love that is keeping me up this time. As before. Groan all you want, my musings are interesting and good for gossip fodder when I'm not around. Plus, it wastes time!

Her name is Delvinia. Delvinia, just penning down the name is stirring up memories long forgotten once again. Less than 3 months I knew her, but the memories were pleasant, nostalgic snapshots nevertheless. From class 2sb1, neighbour to 1sa6 (moi), from the orientation group Rizzo, this beautiful, witty, spunky, well, goddess (to me), took my breath away, along with my heart (It's late dammit). I have to admit, this cynical, sardonic, sarcarstic, epitomy of a bent old man, mean to the bone, had experienced what is commonly known as a fool's crush on her. And why not? She was breathtaking, and smart to boot. More importantly, kind to ugly, frenless me. Yes, hard to believe, I had few frens then. Only 1? 2? Aside from being in the same OG (Orientation Group), we stood next to each other in assembly, being neighbours and all. The fool that was me used to wait for her at the carpark before then, ever faithful, ever the lovesick fool. Man, to tell you the things I did, it would make you laugh til milk falls out of ur nostrils and turn me redder than rouge. We were frens. Chit-chatting when we could, laughing, joking, you know, the usual fren stuff. It was a great time for me, the naive boy of 16.

Naive and childish as I was, I was not that blind to the situation in front of me. I knew I could not be hers. Why would she want me? Yes, she was friendly to me... and everybody else. And kind too. And she was beautiful! She was popular during the 1st 3 months in JC. I was an antisocial geek cum choirboy. Oh wat a resume that was. My rivals were the pretty prom kings of school, the semi-handsome whizzes of studies and the jocky Tarzans for the sporting scene. I was just a quiet boy in specs, with wit I grant myself that, but wit was never an important point in courtship. To surmise, I had no faith in myself.

Then came Feb, with the holiday of lovers looming. It was crunch time. I was determined to give this current love of my life (Remember.. love struck fool here) a memorable Vday to the best of my abilities. So I put together a giftpack which had chocs, flowers and a cd of Disney love songs (Love struck fool here... but the songs ARE good). Also included, was a letter, declaring my feelings for her. Letters are so much easier. Words tell things easily, peppered with flowery inuances and danced with the deft tones of language, words can convey feelings better. Plus, you don't have to look the person in the eye at that instant. So, yes, I declared my love for her. On that day, she gave me a paper flower, one she folded herself. I was joyous. Not so much when I found out many other guys had received the same token. I believed mine was the pity one I guess. I gave her my gift, a shy smile on my face, the words "Happy Valentines Day" pouring out emptily from the wooden vessel that was my head. Or mouth. Anywaes, to the life of nme, I could not remember what happened after that. I suppose it was a lost cause, a failure before anything started, or I would have remembered the victory celebration. Fortune favors the bold, not the fools.

She left for another JC in March. To CJC. She said she had a sign from God to go there. Wow, I nodded. Great, she would do well, I smiled. I would miss her, but not tooooo much, I laughed. When she left, there were no tearful goodbyes, she just upped and went. Disappeared. Gone. I did nothing, said nothing. I believed there was no point. I did try desperately to keep in contact but the tide of life swept us by and all was forgotten...until now, in a room in Ipoh, at 130am.

The reason for this story. No reason. Just wondered how she was, how she looked like, who she was with. Then I realised how much I missed her. I have no picture of her, but I remember her clear as day. And these memories are with me. I think I shall go find her. And when I do, meet her. I wonder how she would react, to find the bespectacled nerd with a sideparting had grown to be a bespectacled nerd with spikey hair. Laugh to death maybe, then as kthe boyfren to end me. Either way, it's a new chinese year and more things are out there. Nitez good pple. It's late.

eeps
1.55am