Gonna whine, so bear with me. Waitamin, this is my blog, go away if u cant then.

I walk along the street and I see couples, couples, couples everywhere. WHERE DID THEY ALL COME FROM??? Well, that's not exactly the issue here. The thing that irks me, is that I'm not part of it. Something must have gone wrong. I must have screwed up somewhere. I see secondary school kids, yes I call them kids, they are like 5 years my junior, secondary sch kids walking around holding hands. I see Junior College kids (yes, still kids) having romantic dinners in fancy restaurants 3 days after orientation. I see Uni/Working pple (pple now) cuddling up in the MRT/Bus/Bench/EVERYWHERE ELSE. And I wonder: where did I go wrong? What did I not do that well, screwed up this life. Was I not responsive enough? Did I not take action? What what what? Tell me! Pple say it's not my time yet, I'm tired you know. Tired of love or lack thereof.

Maybe I should have taken my chances, rolled the dice. I was a mummy's boy dammit! And I was shy. Rolling the dice aint the way I lived. I should have hugged my childhood sweetheart tight, should have asked the girl in the front row 4 columns away in my class in sec sch.. to a dinner, I should have not be scared and asked the girl standing next to me during assembly.. to somewhere, anywhere. Or just shout out "I LIKE YOU". No regrets. There is a semblance of truth in that. But that's all in the movies too. I'm not brave, nor impulsive. I'm a charlaton, a fraud... i cant even spell charlaton right, worse... I have no guts, though the intestines work well. ARGH, I'm juz uselessly funny. THAT'S NOT GOOD.

Should haves. I hate that, hate playing what ifs. Maybe I should (there's that word again) just do stuff. What harm? Ego, self esteem, lower regions when they get kicked, pimples from alcohol on face, the usual. Sigh. No regrets huh?

Finally, to sum up. I want love. Requited love pls. Or some with expensive dinners and sex. Or just good ole cuddling, I like cuddling, nice, cuddly and warm.

Song now: "When your lover has gone" Stacey Kent

Quote of the post:

" Moons and junes and ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As ev’ry fairy tale comes real
I’ve looked at love that way

But now it’s just another show
You leave ’em laughing when you go
And if you care, don’t let them know
Don’t give yourself away

I’ve looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It’s love’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know love at all"

Joni Mitchell, Both Sides Now