The night's come and it's not cold. I have great Dragon Ash music on and the tune simply melts the place down. And I haven't done any work today.

I shld be happy.

But I'm not.

I don't know why, in showing somebody what self-worth means and how much it matters to the people that care, I examine myself and wonder about that myself.

I wonder if im worth anything. Parents... yes. Of course I'm worth something... other than the 10 thousand dollar insurance thingy on me, I am their son and i'm sure they love me a lot.
Frens... my only source of life. Without them, I do not think I would last very long.

These are people that care, without need of looks or money. But still... I cannot describe this feeling in my heart. It hurts. Perhaps it's loneliness. Everybody has somebody. Guys I know talk about the thrill of sex, girls I know have men declaring everlasting love for them. It's selfish. It's childish. I know. It's just something I have to get over with. Self-pity... heh... my friend.

Perhaps it has to do with me seeing the picture of a girl I liked and finding out about her next boyfren. I want a line too. I want so many things, too sad for words.

This is the last week of my school life. After this week, it all ends. My school life ends. I am left into the world. My 22nd birthday comes and I have nothing to show for it. Hip hip hooray. Whee. and all that.

Shit, my heart hurts. Frens are telling me that life aint that bad, that things will look up. I haven't even begun to suffer and I believe them. I want to believe in a better life than this empty shell. The heart still hurts though. Ah well, eggtart.